Dear lord

So how in the world did I get 115 friends on Facebook? I never even thought in a million years I would have 115 people at my funeral let alone that many on a social networking site! I have rescue friends there, school friends, and work friends. a couple people who are mafia buddies and one guy who I started chatting with after I kicked his butt in another Facebook application. Kind of a funny cross section when you look at them!

It's weird how sites like that afford you the opportunity to be "close" to people without actually being close to them. You can grant them just enough of your personal space to not get icky but not too much! If they really needed me would I come running to help? Yeah sure for most of them. Then again that's part of my crunchy Earth Mother side where I want to help and Mother everybody who I care about in my life. Ends up getting my arse burned more often then not, but I do it anyway. I must be a slow damn learner!

I would think that if we followed what the WHO and President Obama have kinda asked of us sites like Facebook are going to be even more massively popular than they are now. When your social networking is limited to online interactions it's much harder to spread Swine Flu to one another.

You have to wonder though what we are loosing by being such a technoligicaly dependant society. If there is that person to person contact that is missing in our lives. I know that unless hubby pushes me I tend to be a huge hermit. ( Not that I am huge than you very much but I REALLY tend to not be out and about) It just seems so much easier to "talk" through the computer than getting out there and interacting with people in a face to face basis. I suppose that doesn't really speak well of me because I limit my interaction so much.

I am all about barriers and allowing people behind you barrier gives up so much controll and makes you so much more vunerable than what I am really comfortable with. Total defense mechanism I know but it is what it is. Life and all it's troubles have really taught me that if people have the opportunity to hurt you chances are pretty good that in some way they will. Rather than being incredibly bitter and closing myself away from the world I just put up walls. Lots and lots of walls. It gets lonely but at least it's safe right??

Sea World

So I am watching a show about them on Animal Planet and realize that not only would I love to go there ( never been) but I think I need to find a job like that. Seriously since i was a little girl I have always thought about working with animals and love being in the water so that would be tops right?
Cliff keeps having a reoccuring dream that the boys and I go to vet school and open up our own clinic. Part of me would love that and part of me is afraid that I would have my heart broken too often by the sad things I know I would have to deal with.
I know for certain that I don't want to work in the Automotive Industry for the rest of forever, and since General Motors and Michigan in general is pretty shaky right now I have lots of time on my hands to dream about what I should be doing with my life!

I'm an old hermit

Facebook makes me feel old. I see all these posts from people I knew way back when and they are happy and smiling and I am not in any of them. I talked to everyone even hung out with them on occassion. But I am not part of the happy smiling pictures and videos that everyone posts. If you look at pictures here and now with my family there aren't pictures of me either. I seem to lack that vital gene that makes me part of other peoples happy times. I assume I am a recluse, a hermit, or maye just a booring nasty person that people don't need around for thr good times. Granted I don't drink or smoke but I know how to laugh and have a good time and even toos down a few drinks every now and again.

I don't think there is anything wrong with me, but I can't seem to get close and stay close to anyone. Even my husband has a very active social life that keeps him with his friends a lot of the time. The kids do their own thing. That leaves me and the sleeping animals.Pretty damn lonely.

I never would have imagioned that being married for this long with a house and 2 kids and I feel as lonely as the awkward teenager I was way back when I knew these faceook people. I couldn't bring people close into my life then because of the issues with my Mom, Now I am so scared I am going to be used and taked advantage of I let no one else in and apparently do a REALLY good job of pushing people away.

Problem is I don't wanna feel alone anymore and I have no idea how to get the changes to make me happy with my life. It's just like day after day month after month I am withering farther away.

I live in the heart of a suburbia of sorts.
For this reason we have several Elementary, and middle schools sprinkled around the city. This concept alone is pretty foriegn to me. Ya I know I am a hillbilly but the school I went to has k-12 connected in a series of buildings.
For some reason the city planners have in this city no concept of parking needs for parents picking up or dropping off their kids. Therefore the parents are parking on the side of the road waiting paitently for their spawn to emerge from the building.Problem is there isn't enough room for people to do this without reducing the road to one lane no matter how far onto the sidewalk they try to pull their vehicle.
Then you have the real peaches of society who also park on the opposite side of the street further blocking the roadway for any vehicles happening to actually use the road for traveling on. It also makes it so their little darlings are now running headlong into traffic while their lovely parents are giving the death look at anyone anywhere close to their car, thats right folks their car not their kid.It's a real party over there.

So these things have rought me to address a few points ( About time right)

1. Having a SUV or larger style vehicle does not give you more right of way than anyone else in the area. No matter how many dirty looks you give or the obovious sense of entitlement you seem to have is going to change traffic laws.

2. Pulling out into the road as fast as you possibly can does not make you a better driver than everyone else. It just makes you dumber than everyone else. Also nasty looks and snide comments when you just aout get you pretty sparkly SUV smashed because you pulled out in front of/into someone are just unnecessary as well. I hate to see what your insurance premiums are , seriously.

3.Being a bus driver does not actually make a person a good driver either. Thatone suprised me as well until I moved to this city I don't remember ever seeing bus drivers pull in front of people like they do here. I know you are in a big yellow vehicle and everyone can see you, but do you realise that when you are driving through 6 inches of slushy crap they may not be able to bring their vehicle to a full and complete stop before it careens into your big banana deathmobile.


Remember this is Michigan people and we are going through enough garbage here without making pick up and drop off times feel like Mad Max.

It's a simple question that I have always wondered about, and not just because I now have a teenager. Why do children both male and female reach a certian age and suddenly everyone 10 years older then them and older suddenly sound like the adults in the Peanuts cartoons. I can tell by looking in their faces that whenever us "older" people speak all they hear is whaaah waah waaah wahh. I know that I don't wear my pants around my ass or have the "latest" clothes. Frankly I am kinda a fuddy duddy for someone as young as I am but still! Occasionally I do have something worthwhile to say , like " Thats hot so keep your hands off" or "there a car speeding down the street , so you might not want to walk out into the road" or "I'm ready to pull my hair out so could you please do the thing I have been asking you nicely to do for the last hour while you have been plugged into videogames/computer/tevevision before I start screaming and pea soup comes flying out of my mouth" You know the basic stuff.

Don't get me wrong I have good kids, really I do but occasionally they get that zoned out looks on their faces and I know that I may as well be talking to a tree stump.

Every time Iam just about ready to run down the street screaming and pulling my hair out they come over and give me a hug and kiss on the cheek and ask if I am having a good day, and I turn back to a big pile of Mommy mush.

I swear it's a conspiracy .