Facebook makes me feel old. I see all these posts from people I knew way back when and they are happy and smiling and I am not in any of them. I talked to everyone even hung out with them on occassion. But I am not part of the happy smiling pictures and videos that everyone posts. If you look at pictures here and now with my family there aren't pictures of me either. I seem to lack that vital gene that makes me part of other peoples happy times. I assume I am a recluse, a hermit, or maye just a booring nasty person that people don't need around for thr good times. Granted I don't drink or smoke but I know how to laugh and have a good time and even toos down a few drinks every now and again.
I don't think there is anything wrong with me, but I can't seem to get close and stay close to anyone. Even my husband has a very active social life that keeps him with his friends a lot of the time. The kids do their own thing. That leaves me and the sleeping animals.Pretty damn lonely.
I never would have imagioned that being married for this long with a house and 2 kids and I feel as lonely as the awkward teenager I was way back when I knew these faceook people. I couldn't bring people close into my life then because of the issues with my Mom, Now I am so scared I am going to be used and taked advantage of I let no one else in and apparently do a REALLY good job of pushing people away.
Problem is I don't wanna feel alone anymore and I have no idea how to get the changes to make me happy with my life. It's just like day after day month after month I am withering farther away.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
I live in the heart of a suburbia of sorts.
For this reason we have several Elementary, and middle schools sprinkled around the city. This concept alone is pretty foriegn to me. Ya I know I am a hillbilly but the school I went to has k-12 connected in a series of buildings.
For some reason the city planners have in this city no concept of parking needs for parents picking up or dropping off their kids. Therefore the parents are parking on the side of the road waiting paitently for their spawn to emerge from the building.Problem is there isn't enough room for people to do this without reducing the road to one lane no matter how far onto the sidewalk they try to pull their vehicle.
Then you have the real peaches of society who also park on the opposite side of the street further blocking the roadway for any vehicles happening to actually use the road for traveling on. It also makes it so their little darlings are now running headlong into traffic while their lovely parents are giving the death look at anyone anywhere close to their car, thats right folks their car not their kid.It's a real party over there.
So these things have rought me to address a few points ( About time right)
1. Having a SUV or larger style vehicle does not give you more right of way than anyone else in the area. No matter how many dirty looks you give or the obovious sense of entitlement you seem to have is going to change traffic laws.
2. Pulling out into the road as fast as you possibly can does not make you a better driver than everyone else. It just makes you dumber than everyone else. Also nasty looks and snide comments when you just aout get you pretty sparkly SUV smashed because you pulled out in front of/into someone are just unnecessary as well. I hate to see what your insurance premiums are , seriously.
3.Being a bus driver does not actually make a person a good driver either. Thatone suprised me as well until I moved to this city I don't remember ever seeing bus drivers pull in front of people like they do here. I know you are in a big yellow vehicle and everyone can see you, but do you realise that when you are driving through 6 inches of slushy crap they may not be able to bring their vehicle to a full and complete stop before it careens into your big banana deathmobile.
Remember this is Michigan people and we are going through enough garbage here without making pick up and drop off times feel like Mad Max.
For this reason we have several Elementary, and middle schools sprinkled around the city. This concept alone is pretty foriegn to me. Ya I know I am a hillbilly but the school I went to has k-12 connected in a series of buildings.
For some reason the city planners have in this city no concept of parking needs for parents picking up or dropping off their kids. Therefore the parents are parking on the side of the road waiting paitently for their spawn to emerge from the building.Problem is there isn't enough room for people to do this without reducing the road to one lane no matter how far onto the sidewalk they try to pull their vehicle.
Then you have the real peaches of society who also park on the opposite side of the street further blocking the roadway for any vehicles happening to actually use the road for traveling on. It also makes it so their little darlings are now running headlong into traffic while their lovely parents are giving the death look at anyone anywhere close to their car, thats right folks their car not their kid.It's a real party over there.
So these things have rought me to address a few points ( About time right)
1. Having a SUV or larger style vehicle does not give you more right of way than anyone else in the area. No matter how many dirty looks you give or the obovious sense of entitlement you seem to have is going to change traffic laws.
2. Pulling out into the road as fast as you possibly can does not make you a better driver than everyone else. It just makes you dumber than everyone else. Also nasty looks and snide comments when you just aout get you pretty sparkly SUV smashed because you pulled out in front of/into someone are just unnecessary as well. I hate to see what your insurance premiums are , seriously.
3.Being a bus driver does not actually make a person a good driver either. Thatone suprised me as well until I moved to this city I don't remember ever seeing bus drivers pull in front of people like they do here. I know you are in a big yellow vehicle and everyone can see you, but do you realise that when you are driving through 6 inches of slushy crap they may not be able to bring their vehicle to a full and complete stop before it careens into your big banana deathmobile.
Remember this is Michigan people and we are going through enough garbage here without making pick up and drop off times feel like Mad Max.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
It's a simple question that I have always wondered about, and not just because I now have a teenager. Why do children both male and female reach a certian age and suddenly everyone 10 years older then them and older suddenly sound like the adults in the Peanuts cartoons. I can tell by looking in their faces that whenever us "older" people speak all they hear is whaaah waah waaah wahh. I know that I don't wear my pants around my ass or have the "latest" clothes. Frankly I am kinda a fuddy duddy for someone as young as I am but still! Occasionally I do have something worthwhile to say , like " Thats hot so keep your hands off" or "there a car speeding down the street , so you might not want to walk out into the road" or "I'm ready to pull my hair out so could you please do the thing I have been asking you nicely to do for the last hour while you have been plugged into videogames/computer/tevevision before I start screaming and pea soup comes flying out of my mouth" You know the basic stuff.
Don't get me wrong I have good kids, really I do but occasionally they get that zoned out looks on their faces and I know that I may as well be talking to a tree stump.
Every time Iam just about ready to run down the street screaming and pulling my hair out they come over and give me a hug and kiss on the cheek and ask if I am having a good day, and I turn back to a big pile of Mommy mush.
I swear it's a conspiracy .
Don't get me wrong I have good kids, really I do but occasionally they get that zoned out looks on their faces and I know that I may as well be talking to a tree stump.
Every time Iam just about ready to run down the street screaming and pulling my hair out they come over and give me a hug and kiss on the cheek and ask if I am having a good day, and I turn back to a big pile of Mommy mush.
I swear it's a conspiracy .
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